Shame on Women-Blamers

the background 100News for Florida girl abducted plus you know the hideous rest, then murdered BY registered sex offender MALE

It is almost always a man who abducts and murders a child, almost always a girl who is the child victim, with male rapists as the perpetrators.
This particular 8-year-old victim, may her name be respected and compassion extended, is charish Perriwinkle.  
Charish will never ride her bike again.  She will never laugh again.  She will hopefully still be remembered as one more casualty in the unacknowledged open season by predatory men upon girls and women worldwide.
Here’s a link to the all-too familiar tragedy after unspeakable trauma to the Girl, terrible heartbreak to her mother, and the failure of the patriarchal system to put a stop to this terrorism by males against girls and women:  [Read more]:


“Smith has been a registered sex offender since a 1993 conviction in Duval County for attempted kidnapping and selling obscene materials. He has been arrested several times since then, most recently in 2009 on a charge of child abuse after making obscene phone calls to a 10-year-old girl, making verbal threats, and impersonating a social worker with the Florida Department of Children and Families who claimed to be investigating the girl’s family. …

“Smith pleaded guilty to misdemeanor charges in that case and was released from jail May 31. …Smith had just met with police Friday morning to comply with a state law that requires sex offenders to verify their address once a year. [As if the futility of address verification stops the predators from abducting, raping and killing their prey; clearly this proves it does not.]  In a highly publicized case in 2009, a 7-year-old northeast Florida girl was abducted while she walked home from school. Police later found Somer Thompson’s body in a Georgia landfill. A man who lived with his parents in Somer’s Orange Park neighborhood pleaded guilty in 2012 to kidnapping, raping and murdering the girl and was sentenced to life in prison. ”

Also bad is that online many of the commenters to this story blamed the mother, not the murderer.

My comment will likely be removed or trashed (because calling out misogyny is seldom allowed any more even online), so here it what I wrote:

“It is appalling that commenters here would blame the mom when the murderer (probably also a torturer and rapist, but cops are silent until charges levied) is a repeat sex predator against girls. Not only blaming females but raping and murdering them seems to have become a blood sport in America. Whatever happened to this country? So many people are experiencing hard times in this economy not of our making, especially mothers trying (often alone) to raise daughters. Women typically earn less for equivalent work than men (despite laws on the books but rarely enforced to protect against wage disparity and sex discrimination). Women typically are the targets, not the perpetrators, of domestic violence in male-female relationships. To blame the mom who just lost her daughter to murder (probably also after torture and rape which this mom probably knows about after identifying the body of her child) is both cruel and ignorant. Shame on you.”


9 thoughts on “Shame on Women-Blamers

  1. My religious persuasion is postchristian. Still words reportedly of Jesus come to mind. (Childhood church upbringing.) As “woe to you hypocrites.” And (paraphrase, no longer owning a bible): “whoever harms one of these little ones, better that he have a millstone hung on his neck and be drowned in the sea.”

    Some might say that would be too good for this pedophile-murderer and all others like him. And isn’t Jesus always misused by men as social control to make women forgive their torturers? The bible’s gospels might have been re-written by imperialists adding social control messages around the better and revolutionary words. The revolutionary righteous indignation Jesus experienced turning over the moneychangers’ table, instead of forgiveness, motivates us to change ourselves. It is powerful. Women need that righteous indignation. If there was a real Jesus, he would not have promoted masochism in the name of forgiveness.

    I can only hope, with the woman-blaming online of this mother, that she can forgive herself. If she ever comes here to read: It was not your fault!!!!

    It is the fault of men running society that you were not taught how likely it is for any man seeming to be your friend instead to be a rapist, murderer or if not that bad, an every day manipulator. It is man-made society’s fault that it is so difficult for single moms to have adequate resources to take care of their kids. It is man-made society’s fault that girls are valued less than “it’s a boy!” and “boys will be boys.”

    Next time any of you mothers of boys think “boys will be boys” and allow your son to disrespect girls or women, remember this news. He might grow up to be a rapist murderer of little girls like this Mr. Smith.

    In fact, it might be good at least for the moms if mothers just gave their sons back to the fathers to raise. Let the males of all generations fight it out among themselves. Let the females find peaceful creativity. Let both of the global gender classes find their own levels. And let us all send loving care by our thought to the mother of this and every little girl who has been horribly lost to male predators.

  2. Every year when there is Veterans Day, instead I want to honor Charish Perriwinkle and every girl and woman like her, raped and murdered all around the world in this undeclared but very real war by men against my own kind.

  3. What you said, about the fallen. Every year when there’s Veterans Day (about “our boys” mainly, without top brass caring one bit really about the many women recently entering the military service who are being raped by their fellow soldiers), I will instead honor Charish Perriwinkle.

  4. I strongly feel that even if all things stayed horribly the same and they just had more female cops and detectives working sex crimes and checking up on sex offenders, there would be many changes for the better. Like the Jaycee Duggard case, how many buffoon male cops came around to check on her rapist captor and even SAW the girls in the house but did nothing? So many years….and it took two female cops just trusting their intuition when talking to him, to realize something was up, and follow through on their gut feelings. She probably never would have been found if it wasn’t for those two women. Women just KNOW when a predator is in front of them, whereas men think and treat them like “one of the guys”, even if all the evidence in the world fell on their heads.

    • You are so very right, Feminist Rag. It struck me very strongly too that it was female university cops who knew something wasn’t right after all the males who supposedly checked on that house from an state-authority perspective over the years and didn’t think (they say) anything was wrong. I’m maybe more cynical than most. Honestly I believe there is something so very wrong with the y chromosome (lack of mitochondria, whatever) or it mutated around the time of Kenghis Khan and other male rapist sweeps around the globe. So very wrong in fact that I am prepared to believe that the males in authority who checked on the house knew there was rape-torture-capture going on by a man against his girl victims, and they got off on it. All I need as proof is the porn invented and consumed by men as a global consumer product. I think that the only reason more men don’t rape and torture girls and women is that there are some female troops on the ground. You’re very right about how good it would be to have more women troops on the ground.

      There’s a saying: men will pat your ass, but women will save it.

      But I don’t see the men in charge ever hiring a higher percentage of women than we have now in regular cop positions, because men (who get off on it vicariously) do not want really to stop things like the Jaycee Duggard horrors from happening. They pretend not to want it, but being in charge as men, if they really wanted to stop it, they would do exactly as you say, and put far more women on police forces. Or make sure the women feel safe to stay once hired (which most women won’t and don’t.)

      My life experience after lots of trial and error is that men are not redeemable as a global sex class, although individually and in small groups some of them seem on occasion to try. But they also always seem to fail over the long haul at making life any better for the global sex class of women and girls so horribly oppressed by, guess who, men.

      All of this said, it doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it to try to see that more and more females cops get hired. (But the male cops make it so difficult for any woman who is not co-opted into their macho system). The women who discovered Jaycee weren’t regular city or county or state cops but if memory serves the university security force. Universities in general are more benign places for women to work than police precincts.

      Here’s what men say about themselves and their sick violence predisposition in a male-authored book called Demonic Males (from 1996 by academics): Demonic Males: Apes and the Origins of Human Violence: Dale …

      Women don’t have enough spare energy to save men from themselves. Men are in charge of that, if possible. Women instead need to save themselves from “demonic males.”

      Your comment is excellent and well taken. I hope against hope for the sake of future Jaycee Duggard’s there might be more female cops who care about girls and women on police forces everywhere.

  5. Yes, “something wrong with the y chromosome” – see “A Little Less Evolved” – I won’t cut and paste it here.

    And how long will it take the media to start naming “violence” “male violence” whenever applicable (i.e., 99% of the time). What a difference that would make! (See “Whose Violence” – are we ever on the same wavelength!)

    And yes, oh god how I hate ‘boys will be boys’ – such a cop-out, such an acceptance of so much immaturity, so much immorality. Have you read “Boys will be boys: breaking the link between masculinity and violence” by Myriam Miedziam?

    • Appreciate your comments, ptittle! Real Life’s showing up big time for me lately so there’s not much time left over to blog or respond (for me it tends to come in spurts of blogging or not) — so I just saw this great comment of yours. It’s wonderful the way we can find resources as we’re coming into awareness. I did so very much reading, too, just as you’re doing. Then at some point I didn’t need to read any more about what’s wrong with men (or the false hopes to change them) because I was clear about what my experience of seasoned decades on this planet had taught me. At that point it became for me about hoping to reach some other women before they’d spun their reformist wheels for decades of life, wasting their time, as I had, instead of being the amazing women we are meant to be, filling Life with organic Be-ing, living to the extent possible (in this mess men had made) in what Mary Daly called the “background,” instead of constantly trying to fix patriarchy and the males who made it.

      It is wonderful to be on the same wavelength, to see clearly, that is, see what males are doing to females and how we are the ones who have to protect ourselves and hopefully evolve with nature in our xx-chromosomal abilities.

      It is really lovely to sense your enthusiasm and I hope what I’m going to write will be taken in the intended spirit of hoping to save you decades of false hopes as I suffered before my rad-fem analysis became less forgiving (in fact, no longer forgiving at all) about males or their chances for change (zero). But it probably won’t change your mind. In my experience the great flaw of human beings across both sex classes is an unwillingness to relinquish cherished fantasies, with a correlative tendency to have to learn the very hard way only when we’ve suffered so very much there is no way to sustain the denial any longer. Perhaps it is an unwillingness in too many cultures to grieve fully that which we build fantasy around not to face. The ungrieved losses of women tend to perpetuate the patriarchy, so not surprising that there are cultural barriers to knowing or learning how to grieve effectively so as to be able to move forward.

      As my grieving has become more organic and connected to the Natural realms, it has gotten clearer to me what men are doing, have done, for at least the past 8,000 years or so, in a worsening progression (never really getting better in recent history because behind the scenes men were planning backlash and payback, like online gonzo porn, for every gain women seemed to make in liberation movements). It wasn’t always so bad by the archeological record for women before men got so unredeemably bad, or maybe collective powers of women at one long archaic past kept men in check. In any event, the archaic past can speak to our naturally innate powers as women which we need to exercise now more than ever without the vampire-sucking drain of males to stop us wherever we can possibly free ourselves.

      That men cannot be redeemed is evident by land-and-seas abuse (GMOs; political dilution of the organic food standards in the USA so that now even WalMart can carry some so-called organics; high-tech water draining and transporting with water table disruption from one place then selling to corporations for another; fracking; undersea oil drilling and transporting spills, leaks and devastations to ecosystems; rain forest destructions; etc.), animal extinctions by poaching and over-hunting, pedophiles who rape babies as well as girls, sex trafficking of girls and women, terrorists, priests who rape altar boys, gang rapists and misogynists-in-the-making-from-watching-woman-hating-porn-online (almost all males over the age of 12). I saw three 11-year-old boys at a movie theater last week in a corner chortling over the screen of an iPhone, and by their unmoderated dirty sex comments about what they were seeing, and hateful glances at me, they were screening porn.

      As a rf woman today, with my world view and philosophy, if I had sons I would give them back to their dad or any male member of their genetic heritage who would take them, and legally surrender my (so-called for any mother) parental rights. If that was not possible, I would check into what states might allow mothers to designate themselves unfit (if any allow this), find the closest one, go there and cede the boys to the state as wards for foster care or adoption. Short of that, if I was forced by patriarchy to raise them after birthing them, I would consciously be as detached as possible and do what was minimally necessary under legal requirements for parenting, and the instant any son turned 18 he would be out of the house with the locks changed so he could not come back. (The number of sons who return to kill their mothers and/or grandmothers is rather high.)

      I’ve concluded over the past decade that the media is never going to start naming male violence because a big part of the reason to relax anti-trust laws to allow corporate aggregation of media power in relatively few male hands over the past two decades was for anti-woman propaganda purposes precisely like not naming male violence as the huge devastation of females that it really is (or precisely for converting it to pseudo-porn with prurient interest as CNN is doing for Cleveland rapist-kidnapper-fucktard Arial Castro today).

      Thirty years ago males were more typically named in news reports as the perpetrators. Stories then about husbands killing all the kids, killing the wife, then killing themselves weren’t buried or suppressed. (Now, for instance when there’s a spate of that type of male violence in places like Koreatown in LA, as happened a few years ago with news suppression in major outlets, it tends to be downplayed for reasons of not wanting to seem racist — or at least that’s how it gets pitched internally, I’m told, probably for the benefit of women journalists being manipulated into staying in the field to contribute their gynergy to the media system of misogyny.)

      Also, and not to sound jaded, maybe just freed, I’m no longer willing to believe that the link can be broken between masculinity and violence, because I believe the problem with males is innate. May Goddess Bless Us as Women to overcome.

      More than the majority of women desperately want to believe as Myriam Miedziam writes, and I understand why (because boys come into the world through women), and the majority of womankind is mothers, or sisters, or aunts, or grandmothers of boys. It is womankind’s curse, and to break it, I think reproductively viable women would be wise to face facts, then be in the growing group of women trying to avoid having male children (possibly aborting as early as possible after ultrasound if in a position legally to do so).

      Human males are like male chimps whose violence by all good reports seems to be innate, rapist and murderous whenever a male chimp with the social power to do so (i.e., unlikely to be punished) feels like murdering or raping because he feels his territory (including females) is threatened. Jane Goodall is well-received and well-rewarded by the patriarchy for having seen female chimp violence, too, and not going to the end of the thought — female chimps without a legal system to constrain them will kill a male chimp baby being raised alone by a female mother (disabled by male chimp gang violence and rape), and also kill the disabled mother so she cannot bear more rapist spawn, because they know those babies will grow up to be gang-rapist like the fathers and a real threat to their lives.

      I’m not the mother of sons (one daughter only) and I have nothing invested in wanting to believe that boys can be redeemed. I am so glad and lucky to never have suckled a boy baby at my breast, because if I had it might have taken me decades to get over it. If as I surmise you are the mother of sons, my heart goes out to you. I have friends who have grown sons and of them, one last week called with the story of how her son threatened to accost her (he has been violent to her in the past) because as the grandmother she tried to either get the son and his wife into rehab or to have child-protective services intervene with her grandchildren whom her son is abusing. The female asst. District Attorney (involved because of the son’s drug use) expects the male judge to give the kids (one girl, one boy, with the girl getting the worst of it) back to the abusive dad. My friend, after the court hearing, is done. If the granddaughter after age 18 wants to have contact, her grandma (my friend) is planning to renew their relationship at that late date assuming they are both still alive. The grandma is going to grieve the loss of her son and grandson now, and move on, because she no longer trusts any males to be safe given how males are innately as her experience from her former husband and her son tells her. (Then she had a non-violent live-in boyfriend who wanted her domestic services as cook, cleaner, laundress, fuckhole if not breeder because she’s post-menopausal. That’s over, too.) She’s not going to have false hope. She already gave two decades to her son, then more time to the grandchildren, and she’s going to live her own life, for a change.

      Being a young woman is a huge challenge because so few older women are willing to tell you the truth. I wish somebody I trusted had told me the truth about three decades ago. I am now grieving the loss of so much of my life to men and their unredeemable problems. But no more. It started to change the second I found Mary Daly’s work, for which I will always be grateful beyond even the measure of the spinning words she left for us. Like Mary Daly, whenever possible, I just don’t think about males. I wear my sunglasses and avert my eyes from their images. I never honor their god-in-man’s-imagery icons or symbols. They don’t rent space in my head. I just don’t care about them. Not at all. They’ve hurt everything alive for far too long with impunity, and I’m done. Moving on to resonant spheres!

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